Long Time Coming

So Kmart and I have this new thing where we update our blog once every 83 months. We like to keep you on your toes. So I'm at home for Thanksgiving break, and I'm incredibly bored. I should be doing homework, because it was due last Friday, but I figured instead I would grace you all with some words of wisdom. Actually, I don't think that anyone even reads this anymore because we never write on it. I had to blow on my computer screen to get rid of all the dust. The problem is, I have nothing to write about. My life is rather boring...well actually, it's not so much boring, just there is nothing blog-worthy to write about. Hmmmm...what to say, what to say. I guess since I'm now 22, I've become pretty wise. Which means I should probably share some of that wisdom with the younger generation (that would be you). So what have I learned in the past 22 years? Let's see...

Crap.

I can't think of anything. I'm an idiot. So basically the moral of the story is that really by the time you're 22, not much has changed: you're still a punk kid with no solid direction in your life, but everyone around you (especially the elders) assume that you have direction, and they expect you to have direction, but there is no escaping the fact that you haven't learned anything of real value since you entered college. Except maybe that you can go 5 weeks without doing laundry and 4 days without showering. Or maybe that's just me.

So let's talk about this new era that comes with turning 22: marriage. I swear, you enter your senior year of college and before you know it everyone you know is getting engaged. It is wild. I mean, one minute you're out shopping for a new bathing suit for spring break and talking about how lame boys are, and the next minute you're out looking at wedding dresses and planning a rehearsal dinner. Wild. So when all of your friends start to get married, you start to think, "crap, I need to get married too." But then you realize that you're only 22, and, as previously stated, you're an idiot. And while marriage is all very good and exciting for some people, the thought of getting married yourself gives you an ulcer. But aside from all the anxiety that comes with friends getting married, there are many, many positives. First of all, weddings are like prom, except for way better. First of all, you are now all 21 (unless you're one of those crazy Christian couples who get married at 18 just so you can have sex), and adding alcohol into the mix always makes things a little more interesting. Along with that, all weddings have the token drunk person: this person has clearly milked the open bar for all it's worth, and is now inappropriately dancing with the groom's mother. While this is obviously embarrassing and somewhat inappropriate, it does spice up the chicken dance a little bit. Unless you are the token drunk friend. In that case, just pray that your family wasn't also invited to the wedding. In addition to wedding fun, there is also a lot of pre-wedding fun. For example, as most of you know, my very best friend is currently engaged. Because of this, every time we get together we plan some sort of engagement celebration. This is especially fun, because it gives you an excuse to get all dressed up and go out and scream, "She's getting married!!!!," all night long. This is followed by much dancing and festivities. So basically the moral of the story is that even though when you turn 22 all your friends go off and get married, this is good, because now you have an excuse to celebrate for at least a year. And celebrating is good. And I for one still have Kmart, who is currently filling out her applications for the nunnery, so if worst comes to worst, we could always share a room in the convent...we always said we wanted to be roommates again. Well, we didn't really say that, but I'm sure she wants to live with me. I'm fun.

Alright, well that's enough for one day. Check back in with us in a decade.

Keep it real.
T-rex